Are you ready to add some corny spice to your life? Look no further because we've harvested over 100 corny puns that will have you laughing your husks off! From corny jokes to ear-resistible wordplay, these puns will take you on a journey through the stalks of hilarity. So grab your cob and get ready to crack up with some a-maize-ing jokes that will leave you in stitches. Whether you're a farmer or just a-maize-d by puns, these jokes will definitely pop your funny kernel. So shuck off your worries, embrace the corniness, and get ready to embark on a journey through the world of corny puns!
The Punniest Puns
- Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
- What do you call fake Spaghetti? An impasta!
- What do you call a Bear with no Teeth? A Gummy Bear!
- What do you call a Snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
Corn on the Chuckles: 10 Hilarious Tom Swifty Puns
- I'm Reading a Book on anti-Gravity," said Tom, upliftingly.
- "I need to fix the Wheel on my Car," said Tom tiredly.
- "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
- "I just got my Electric Bill," said Tom shockingly.
- "I Can't find the paintbrush," said Tom, off the Wall.
- "I dropped my toothpaste," said Tom, crestfallen.
- "I'm growing Herbs in my Garden," said Tom, sublimely.
- "I'm learning to speak French," said Tom, frankly.
- "I used to be a Baker," said Tom, half-baked.
- "I'm a big Fan of Wind Energy," said Tom, breezily.
Historical Puns
- Why did the ancient Egyptian Farmer always bring a Ladder to the field? Because he wanted to raise the "stake"!
- Why did the archaeologist always carry a Map? In case he needed to "unearth" his way Back!
- What did Alexander the Great say when he conquered the Cheese factory? "I have Feta Destiny!"
- Why did the British King build a moat around his Castle? Because he wanted to keep his enemies "at bay"!
- Why did the Roman emperor become a baker? Because he wanted to "rise" in the ranks!
- Why did the ancient Greek Philosopher prefer to live in a Cave? Because he wanted to have a "Socratic retreat"!
- What did the Medieval Knight say to the Princess at the Ball? "I'm here to sweep you off your Feet, my lady!"
- Why did the Viking always carry a compass? Because he wanted to "navigate" through life!
- Why did the Pirate become a historian? Because he wanted to "arr"chive all the historical booty!
- What did the ancient Roman say when he won a chariot Race? "I'm wheel-y Happy about this victory!"
Get Ready for Some Corny Puns!
- Why did the Tomato turn Red? Because IT saw the Salad dressing!
- Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- Why did the Bicycle Fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- Why did the Math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
- Why couldn't the Leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in One!
- Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
- Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
- Why did the stadium get Hot after the Game? All of the fans left!
Corny Double Entendre Puns
- Why did the Scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Did you hear about the farmer who told corny jokes? He was a real corn-Artist!
- Why did the corn go to the Doctor? Because it had an Ear infection!
- What did one corn stalk say to the other? "You're a-maize-ing!"
- Why did the corn get promoted? Because it was stalk-ing the CEO!
- Why did the corn file a Police report? Because it was a-MAIZE-ing!
- What did the corn say to the Butter? "You're on a Roll!"
- Why did the corn refuse to play Baseball? Because it didn't want to be a-MAIZE-d!
- What did the corn do when it won the lottery? It went on a corn-ucopia!
- Why did the corn go on a diet? It wanted to become a kernel model!
Corny Paronomasia Puns
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough Dough. It was a real knead for more.
- The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a big Hug.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
- The guy who invented the Door knocker won the No-Bell prize.
- I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. She said that would be a big step forward.
- I used to play Piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's uplifting.
- I'm Friends with 25 letters of the Alphabet. I don't know Y.
- I told my wife she should do sit-ups to stay in shape. She said living Room and Kitchen were fine.
Rhyming Puns: Corny Edition
- Why did the corn go to the Party? Because it wanted to "pop" in and say hi!
- What did the corn say to the butter? "You're my better half!"
- Why did the corn lose the race? Because it couldn't "kernel" it!
- What did the corn say when it got a Compliment? "Aw, shucks!"
- Why did the corn refuse to fight? Because it was "peaceful"!
- What do you call a group of corn performing a play? A "pop"corn ensemble!
- Why did the corn join the Circus? Because it wanted to be the "stalk" of the show!
- What did the corn do when it won the lottery? It "corn-gratulated" itself!
- What do you call a corn's favorite Music genre? "Pop"corn!
- Why did the corn refuse to tell jokes? Because it was too "corny"!
Spoonerism Puns
- I asked the baker for a corn Muffin, but he gave me a torn Coffin instead!
- My Friend tried to sell me a worn out Shoe, but I told him I'm not in the mood for a torn shew.
- The Magician was supposed to pull out a Rabbit, but he ended up with a rabid pull-it instead!
- I tried to order a Dog-puns">Corn Dog at the Fair, but the vendor gave me a torn cog instead!
- I asked the farmer if he had any corn on the cob, but he misunderstood and gave me a torn on the cob!
- My friend told me a corny joke, but I misheard and thought he said a torny Coke!
- I went to the Dentist and asked for a Crown, but he gave me a drown instead!
- I tried to buy a Popcorn, but the vendor gave me a torn pop instead!
- I asked the bartender for a corn Whiskey, but he gave me a torn friskey instead!
- I asked the Chef for cornbread, but he gave me a torn Bread instead!
“Puns”-ational Anagram Puns
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn't find my "Yeast"erday.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who became a farmer? He grew "sine"ples.
- I went to a Seafood Disco last night and pulled a "mussel".
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
- I used to be a banker, but I lost "interest".
- I got a job at a Bakery because I "kneaded" dough.
- I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know "why".
- I asked the Librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough "dough".
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's "out of this world!".
Situational Puns: Corny Puns Edition
- Why did the corn stalk Break Up with the tomato? It wasn't their type!
- Why did the corn go to Art School? It wanted to draw attention!
- What do you call a corn party? A maize-ing gathering!
- Why did the corn refuse to play hide and seek? It was too a-maize-ing at it!
- What do you call a corn that tells jokes? A comedic kernel!
- Why did the corn go to the doctor? It had an ear-itation!
- What did the corn say when it won an award? "I'm just ear-resistible!"
- Why did the corn get a promotion? It was stalk-ing the right career path!
- What did the corn say to the butter? "You're my butter half!"
- Why did the corn Jump into the popcorn machine? It wanted to pop into the spotlight!
