Are you tired of clocking in the same old jokes? Well, it's about time you checked out our collection of over 100 time puns that will have you laughing your seconds off! From timeless classics to clock-stopping originality, these puns will take you on a journey through the tick-tocks and the alarmingly hilarious. Whether you're a watch enthusiast or just killing time, these puns are guaranteed to wind up your sense of humor. So don't waste another minute, dive into the world of time puns and get ready to have a pun-tastic time!
Best Time Puns
- Why did the Scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field...of clocks!
- Did you hear about the Watch that went to Therapy? IT had too many seconds thoughts.
- What did the Clock say to the Calendar? "I'm feeling ticked off because you're always days ahead!"
- Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts...or the time.
- Why did the clock go to the Party alone? Because it didn't want to be the third Wheel!
- How do you organize a Space party? You "Planet" in advance!
- What do you call a snobby Criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending!
- How do you make a tissue Dance? You put a Little "boggie" in it!
- Why don't oysters donate to Charity? Because they are Shellfish!
- Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Time Puns - Humor with Tom Swifties
- He couldn't understand why the clock was so loud, so he wound it up with his ears.
- "I Can't wait to see you," Tom said impatiently as he sat on the clock.
- "I have a Date with Destiny," said Tom as he adjusted his watch.
- "I need to take a break," Tom said, watching the minute Hand.
- "I can't believe I lost Track of time," Tom said, as he tripped over the hour hand.
- "I'm Running late," Tom said, as he sprinted past the hourglass.
- "I'm going to turn Back time," Tom said, rewinding his wristwatch.
- "I'm going to make the most of my time," Tom said, as he set his alarm clock for every five minutes.
- "I feel like time is slipping away," Tom said, as he dropped his pocket watch.
- "I'm going to seize the day," Tom said, grabbing onto the second hand.
Tick-Tock Puns
- I used to be a Baker in ancient Egypt, but I couldn't make ends meet. It was a pharaoh Dough situation.
- When the caveman invented the wheel, it was a turning point in History.
- Why did the archaeologist go broke? Because his career was in ruins.
- Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died? He Pasta way, but his legacy will become a Pizza history.
- What did the Grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little Wine.
- The invention of the Shovel was groundbreaking for its time.
- Those who don't learn from history are doomed to retime it.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Did you hear about the claustrophobic archaeologist? He was in de-nile about it.
Tick-Tock Time Puns
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough in time. It was a real time-kneading job!
- Did you hear about the guy who was hit in the Head with a can of Soda? He was lucky it was a soft Drink, it could have been a hard time!
- When the clock factory burned down, it was a real Race against time to save the seconds.
- Why did the man put his Money in the blender? He wanted to make some time-saving dough!
- My Friend is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime he wants.
- What did the digital clock say to its mother? "Look, Ma, no hands!"
- Time flies like an Arrow. Fruit flies like a Banana!
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!
- When you Dream about a clock, it's time to wake up and Face the day!
Time for Some Pun-derful Puns
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough, so I kneaded more time.
- Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink, it could have been a hard time.
- The man who survived both Mustard Gas and Pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran of chemical warfare.
- Why was the Belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
- My wife told me to stop impersonating a Flamingo. I had to put my Foot down.
- Why can't you give Elsa a Balloon? Because she will let it go.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a Hug.
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hey, bud!"
- What do you call a Bear with no Teeth? A Gummy Bear!
- I'm Reading a Book on anti-Gravity. It's impossible to put down!
Tick-Tock, Time for Some Puns!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field...of time!
- Did you hear about the time traveler who went back in time to buy a Doughnut? He wanted to experience the "glaze" of the past!
- What do you call a chronically late Sheep? A baaaa-d timekeeper!
- Why did the clock go to therapy? It had too many "ticks" and needed to Work on its "tocks"!
- Why did the Strawberry go to watchmaking School? It wanted to be a "Berry" Good timekeeper!
- What did the watch say to the hourglass? "You're just a Glass act, but I'm the real "watch" Star!"
- Why did the Math book go back in time? It wanted to be a "history" textbook!
- What do you call a watch that tells jokes? A "witty" timepiece!
- Why did the clock become a Detective? It always had "second" thoughts!
- What do you call a snobby clock? A "time"piece with attitude!
Time for Some Rhyme Puns!
- I once knew a clock who went to therapy – it had too much second hand stress!
- Did you hear about the history Teacher who lost track of time? She missed her class!
- My friend's watch got arrested. It was charged with loitering!
- Why did the man put his money in the clock? He wanted to make some timely investments!
- The calendar was so popular, it had days that were always booked!
- What does a clock do when it's Hungry? It goes back four seconds!
- Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana!
- The watch factory exploded - it was a timely disaster!
- Why did the man go to Art school? He wanted to spend his time Drawing clocks!
- When the clock was hungry, it went back four seconds!
Time for Some Spoonerism Puns
- Ticktock of the town
- History of the flocks
- Second Mouse gets the Cheese
- Winding the cluck
- Fast and the curiously
- Spring the clock
- Hour of the Dog
- Past in the Furry
- Clock and dagger
- Time flies when you're having pun
Time for Some Punny Anagrams!
- A ton of time: Emit Fan to
- Tick-tock: I cock-tit
- Time Travel: Rival met
- Second hand: Dashes don
- Stopwatch: Top swatch
- Time flies: Smite files
- Time machine: I emit man
- Minute hand: Thin named
- Time out: Tote mi
- Pastime: It's a Map
Tickling Time Puns
- Did you hear about the clock that went to therapy? It had a lot of second thoughts.
- Why did the scarecrow become a clock? Because it was outstanding in its field!
- I bought a watch that tells time in dog barks. It's a real woof-tick timepiece.
- Why did the clock go to the principal's Office? It was accused of tocking too much.
- What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? "Look, no hands!"
- Why did the watch Break Up with the clock? It couldn't stand the hands-off Relationship.
- Why did the clock start a Band? It wanted to tickle everyone's Musical funny Bone.
- How did the broken clock start a new life? It found the perfect second-hand job.
- Why did the clock go to the amusement Park? It wanted to have a wheel-y good time.
- Why did the clock always win at Poker? It had a Great poker face, especially when it came to tocking bluffs.
