Pour-fectly Corking: 100+ Grape-tastic Wine Puns to Vine and Dine With!

Are you ready to uncork a barrel of laughs? Get ready for a grape time with our selection of over 100 wine puns that will have you swirling with laughter. From merlot to chardonnay, these puns will take you on a journey through the vineyards of humor. So pour yourself a glass, sit back, and get ready to sip on some hilarious and witty jokes that will leave you in good spirits. Whether you're a wine connoisseur or just enjoy a good glass now and then, these puns will definitely tickle your funny bone. So raise your glass and toast to the world of wine puns!

Wine Puns That Will Make You Grapeful for Wordplay

Why did the Grape stop in the middle of the Road? Because IT ran out of Juice!
I'm not Aging, I'm just fermenting like a fine wine!
What do you call a Bear with no Teeth? A Gummy Bear – just like a Sweet wine!
Wine a Little, laugh a lot – it's grape Therapy!
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Red, red wine, goes to my Head, makes me forget that I still need to buy more!
Why did the grape refuse to play Baseball? It was tired of being wine-d up!
Wine is like duct Tape – it fixes everything!
How do you make a wine enthusiast Happy? Give them a Bottle and let them pour out their feelings!
What do you call a sad bottle of wine? Melan-chardonnay!

Wine Puns: Humor with Tom Swifties

I accidentally spilled wine on my Shirt," he said, whiningly.
"I Can't find the corkscrew," she said, bottley.
"I Love the smell of wine," he said, grapefully.
"This wine is too Cold," she said, chillingly.
"I can't decide between red or white," he said, indecisively.
"I need a Glass of wine," she said, glassy-eyed.
"I'm late for the wine tasting," he said, rushedly.
"I can't open this Champagne bottle," she said, fizzically.
"I'm not Drinking any more wine," he said, soberly.
"This wine tastes like vinegar," she said, sourly.

Historical Puns

Why did the ancient Romans Drink wine? Because they wanted to get a little "Grapes of Wrath" going!
What do you call a Medieval Knight who loves wine? Sir Vignon Blanc!
When Alexander the Great conquered Persia, what did he say? "I like my wine like I like my empire – aged and full-bodied!"
How did the ancient Egyptians make their wine? They used pyramid-shaped wine presses, of course!
What did the ancient Greeks say when they were enjoying a glass of wine? "This is grape!"
Why was Joan of Arc always invited to wine tastings? Because she had a "sparkling" personality!
What did the ancient Chinese Philosopher say about wine? "The journey of a thousand sips begins with a single pour!"
Why did the medieval monks make the best wine? They had divine inspiration!
How did the ancient Mesopotamians Toast? "To the oldest wine in History – let's Sumer it up!"
What did the ancient Mayans say when they ran out of wine? "We need to pour One out for the lost spirits!"

Wine Puns - Literal Puns

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice!
What do you call a wine that's always late? Chardonnay!
What do you get when you cross a wine lover with a Vampire? A Cabernet Sauvignon!
Why did the grape go to the Doctor? It was feeling a little crushed!
What's a wine's favorite Exercise? Grape squats!
What do you call a wine that's lost its Glasses? Pinot Noir!
Why did the wine bottle go to therapy? It had too many issues to uncork!
What do you call a wine that's Good at Math? Merlot!
Why did the grape go to jail? It was caught for wine and dine!
What do you call a wine that's always borrowing Money? A loan merlot!

Double Entendre Puns: Wine Edition

Why did the grape Break Up with the raisin? It just couldn't handle the "wine" and dine lifestyle.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little "wine."
Why did the wine cellar always win at Poker? It had the best "corks" up its sleeve.
What do you call a wine that knows how to Dance? A grape "vine" dancer.
Why did the wine bottle go to therapy? It needed help with its "pour" self-esteem.
What do you call a wine that's always late? A procrastinating "somme-liar."
Why did the wine refuse to go to the Party? It heard it was going to be a "cork"y affair.
What do you call a wine that's afraid of commitment? A "grape" escape Artist.
Why did the wine bottle join a Gym? It wanted to get "toned" for the Beach season.
What did the grape say when it saw its Crush? "You make my Heart "wine"der."

Paronomasia Puns: Wine Puns

Why did the grape go to therapy? It couldn't let go of its wine-ding ways.
What do you call a wine-loving Ghost? A boo-ze enthusiast.
Why did the wine bottle join a Band? It had great cork-titude.
What did the grape say to the wine? "I'm crushing on you."
Why did the wine glass break up with the Beer Mug? It found someone who could wine and dine it better.
What do you call a wine that's always late? A procrastin-grape.
Why did the grape become an Actor? It wanted to be in the grape-est films of all Time.
What do you call a wine that's always causing trouble? A mischiev-ino.
Why did the wine get a promotion? It had a sparkling personality.
What did the wine say to the Cheese? "You're grate together!"

Wine Rhyming Puns

I find it grape to see you!
Don't be wine-y, it's just a sip!
You had me at merlot!
Wine not have another glass?
Sip happens, just wine about it!
Let's raise a toast to the vine times!
Wine a fine choice!
Stop and smell the rosé!
It's wine o'Clock somewhere!

Funny Spoonerism Wine Puns

A toast to the "grape" outdoors!
Let's "whine" and "dine" with some fine "wine"!
Don't "pour" your "whine" into my "windshield"!
Cheers to a "cork"-ing good time!
I "swine" I could "whine" my way into a winery!
Sip, sip, hooray! It's time to "wine" down!
"Wine" not have a glass? It's "grape" for the soul!
Let's raise a glass and "wine" about life's "pour" choices!
I'm "wining" because I can't find the "cork"!
It's time to "un-wine-d" and enjoy the finer things in life!

Wine Puns: Anagram Puns

Wine and win are anagrams, but the real win is having both in your life.
A sip of wine is fine, but an anagram of wine is "we in". So let's all get in and have a good time!
If you rearrange the letters in wine, you get "newi", which is the sound you make when you try a new wine and love it!
An anagram of wine is "newi", and trying newi wines is always an Adventure!
Wine is divine, and an anagram of divine is "vine," which just goes to show that wine is a Gift from the vine gods.
Anagram of wine is "we in," so let's all get in on the Fun and enjoy a glass together!
Wine is an anagram of "we in," and we're definitely in for a good time when there's wine involved!
When life gives you wine, make an anagram. In this case, you get "win" and that's exactly what you'll do!
An anagram of wine is "we in," and when we're in the presence of wine, we're definitely in for a good time.
Wine is an anagram of "we in," and when we're all in, it's a win-win situation!