100+ Fang-tastic Vampire Puns That Will Suck You Into Laughter!

Vampire Puns

Sink your teeth into some fang-tastic fun with our collection of over 100 vampire puns that will have you howling with laughter! From batty situations to coffin up some chuckles, these puns will take you on a thrilling journey through the world of vampiric humor. Whether you're a night owl or just a garlic enthusiast, these puns will definitely make you coffin' from laughter. So grab a stake and get ready to unearth some hilarious and witty jokes that will leave you thirsty for more. So don't be a pain in the neck, sink your teeth into these fang-tastic puns and enjoy a bloody good time!

The Fang-tastic Vampire Puns

  • Why did the vampire always use mouthwash? Because he had bat breath!
  • What do you call a vampire that can sing? A Dracula!
  • Why did the vampire join the Circus? He wanted to improve his Coffin skills!
  • What's a vampire's favorite Dance move? The Fang-dango!
  • Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He wanted to earn a Good vein-comes!
  • What do you call a vampire who tells jokes? A punpire!
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite!
  • Why did the vampire get a promotion? He always goes the extra Bite!

Vampire Puns - Humor with Tom Swifties

  • Dracula said, "I vant to drink some Type O blood," said Dracula vantly.
  • "I'm so pale, I'm practically transparent," said the vampire transparently.
  • "I'm tired of sucking blood; I want to suck on a Lollipop," said the vampire pop-ularly.
  • "I'm a nocturnal creature," said the vampire nightly.
  • "I'm not a Fan of Garlic," said the vampire disparagingly.
  • "I'll never get a suntan," said the vampire darkly.
  • "I always have a bloody good Time at parties," said the vampire enthusiastically.
  • "I'm a bat-tered vampire," said the vampire battily.
  • "I'm a real Pain in the Neck," said the vampire painfully.
  • "I'm in Love with a werewolf," said the vampire howlingly.

Historical Puns

  • Why did the vampire go to the French Revolution? He heard there would be guillotines for everyone!
  • What did the vampire say about the ancient Roman Empire? "I vant to suck your gladiator!"
  • Where did the vampire like to hang out during the Renaissance? In the Art studio, because he loved to admire neck-storpieces!
  • What did the vampire think of the ancient Egyptian pyramids? He thought they were just tomb-good to be true!
  • How did the vampire feel about the medieval knights? He said they were a real pain in the neck!
  • Why did the vampire enjoy the Viking era? He loved the idea of pillaging for necklaces!
  • What did the vampire think of the ancient Mesopotamian civilization? He said IT was fang-tastic!
  • What did the vampire admire about the ancient Greeks? Their love for neck-laces!
  • Why was the vampire interested in the Age of Enlightenment? He wanted to discuss neck-onomics!
  • What did the vampire think of the Stone Age? He said it was a bit too bloody for his taste!

Fang-tastic Vampire Puns

  • What do you call a vampire who loves to bake? A count-Cake-ula!
  • Why did the vampire get a job as a dentist? He wanted to Work with fang-tastic Teeth!
  • What do you call a vampire who can't get a Date? A bat-chelor!
  • Why did the vampire get a ticket? He was caught speeding in his bat-mobile!
  • How does a vampire like his Steak cooked? With a side of neck-tarines!
  • Why did the vampire become a musician? He wanted to play the Organ at midnight!
  • What's a vampire's favorite Fruit? A blood Orange!
  • Why did the vampire join the gym? He wanted to improve his bat-tery life!

Fangtastic Vampire Double Entendre Puns

  • I'm a sucker for a good vampire pun.
  • Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had Great circulation.
  • When do vampires like to meet? Around neck-time.
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  • Why was the vampire always calm? He never got too bat out of shape.
  • Did you hear about the vampire stand-up comedian? He really knew how to coffin up a good joke.
  • What do you call a vampire who's a Magician? A bat-illusionist.
  • How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it May concern...
  • Why don't vampires use Facebook? They prefer to stalk their prey in person.
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.

Vampire Puns

  • Why did the vampire become a dentist? He wanted to improve his bite!
  • What do you call a vampire who loves Baseball? A bat-ter!
  • Why did the vampire go to art School? He wanted to learn how to draw blood!
  • What did the vampire say to the bartender? "I'd like a Bloody Mary, hold the Mary!"
  • Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He wanted a regular paycheck!
  • How did the vampire know it was going to Rain? He could feel it in his veins!
  • What kind of music do vampires listen to? Fang-tastic tunes!
  • Why do vampires make great comedians? They always have killer punchlines!
  • What do you call a vampire who can sing? A neck-tar performer!
  • Why did the vampire bring a Ladder to the Bar? He heard the drinks were on the House!

Fangtastic Rhyming Puns

  • Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He wanted to make a positive "type" of pun!
  • When the vampire opened a fruit stand, he called it "Vladdin's Apple"
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
  • Why don't vampires make good Poker players? They always have a "tell"!
  • What did the vampire say to his beloved? You are so vein to me!
  • Why don't vampires use Facebook? They prefer to stalk their prey in person!
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
  • Why did the vampire buy a Boat? He wanted to go on a blood cruise!
  • How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels!

Fangtastic Spoonerism Puns

  • Bat of the Living Dead - Dat of the Biving Led
  • Vampire Bites - Bampire Vites
  • Bloodsucking Creatures - Cloodsucking Breatures
  • Count Dracula - Drount Cracula
  • Garlic Necklace - Nalric Gearlack
  • Coffin - Cofin
  • Transylvania - Sanstrylvania
  • Nightfall - Fightnall
  • Stake through the Heart - Hake strough the Sart
  • Undead - Dendead

Fangtastic Anagram Puns

  • A Grave Vamp
  • Rave Mag Vamp
  • Gamp Vamp Era
  • Magma Vamp Rev
  • Rampage Vamp
  • Vamp Mage Rap
  • Marge Vamp
  • Par Gem Vamp
  • Marv Game Pap
  • Vamp Rage Map

Situational Vampire Puns

  • Why did the vampire go to the Doctor? He was coffin!
  • What do you call a vampire who can't control his thirst? A nosferatu!
  • Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He wanted a career with great circulation!
  • How did the vampire feel after a long day of hunting? He was drained!
  • Why did the vampire take up gardening? He wanted to plant some neck-tarines!
  • What did the vampire say to his son when he got a Bad grade? "You suck!"
  • Why did the vampire get a ticket for jaywalking? He was caught crossing his bat-tery!
  • How did the vampire propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a coffin Ring!
  • What do you call a vampire who loves to dance? A fangster!
  • Why did the vampire get fired from his job as a dentist? He kept biting his patients!