Thirsty for some laughter? Get ready to dive into a barrel of over 100 hilarious drinking puns that are sure to wet your whistle and leave you in stitches. From hoppy endings to tequila mockingbird, these puns will pour out laughter and make your spirits soar. So grab a glass, raise a toast, and get ready to sip on some side-splitting humor that will definitely quench your thirst for puns. Whether you're a beer aficionado or a wine connoisseur, these puns will definitely hit the spot and leave you drunk with laughter. So cheers to a bellyful of giggles as we dive into the intoxicating world of drinking puns!
Thirsty for Puns
- Why did the Grape Juice go to therapy? IT had some serious raisin issues.
- What do you call a Bear without any Teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the Orange set up a Lemonade stand? It wanted to concentrate.
- What's a Pirate's favorite type of beverage? Arrrrrgula juice!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a Cow that can't control its drinking habits? A Milk alcoholic!
- Why did the Tomato turn Red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- How do you organize a space Party? You just Planet!
- What do you call a wine that's gone Bad? Vinegar-tually undrinkable!
Hilarious Drinking Puns
- Everyone at the Bar knows I’m a Great bartender, “he said, mixing his words.”
- “I’m a teetotaler,” Tom said wateredly.
- “I only drink on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not,” she said spiritedly.
- “I’ll have another round,” Tom said boozily.
- “I can’t find my wine opener,” Tom said corkedly.
- “I only drink distilled liquids,” Tom said spiritedly.
- “I only drink on days that end with 'y',” she said daily.
- “I Love a Good mixed drink,” Tom said craftily.
- “I only drink at the end of the sentence,” Tom said Period-ically.
- “I only drink at the beach,” Tom said shore-ly.
Historical Puns
- Why did the ancient Egyptian pharaoh refuse to share his Beer? Because he was a bit of a papyrus!
- What did Julius Caesar say when he spilled his wine? "Et tu, Merlot?"
- Why did the Viking always bring a keg to battle? He liked to raid and ale!
- What did the medieval Knight say to his drinking buddy? "I'm a knight in shining Armour lager!"
- Why was the pirate captain always drunk? Because he couldn't resist a good rum-bustion!
- How did Joan of Arc like her Coffee? She liked it French-pressed!
- Why did the ancient Greeks invent wine? They didn't want to keep whining about their problems!
- What do you call a drinking Game played by cavemen? Stone Age-ed!
- Why did the ancient Romans always drink wine? Because they thought it was grape for their Health!
- What did the Mayans say when they ran out of Tequila? "We've reached our inca-pacity!"
Thirsty for Puns
- When the wine cellar flooded, it became a "grape disaster".
- I decided to make a Cocktail using Lemon juice, Sugar, and Water. It was a "sour-mist".
- The beer was so strong, it said, "I'm malt-ing away!"
- My friend asked if I wanted a drink, and I said, "I'm on the rocks."
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got "mugged".
- Did you hear about the grape who won the lottery? He became a "raisin the stakes" millionaire.
- What do you call a bear that can't stop drinking soda? A "Coca-Cola bear".
- I tried to make a smoothie, but I couldn't find the blender. It was a "mix-take".
- Why did the orange stop Rolling down the hill? It ran out of "juice".
- I used to be a bartender, but I couldn't handle the "pour" working hours.
Double Entendre Puns: Drinking Edition
- Why did the grape stop drinking wine? Because it couldn't find the "stem" of the problem!
- What do you call a bear that doesn't drink? A "sobear"!
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got "mugged"!
- What did the bartender say to the Ghost at the bar? "Sorry, we don't serve "spirits" here!"
- Why did the lemon refuse to Swim in the cocktail? It didn't want to end up as a "sour" note!
- Why did the beer go to Art school? It wanted to master the "ale" of painting!
- What's a pirate's favorite drink? "Rum" and coke!
- Why did the soda go to therapy? It had too many "fizzical" issues!
- What kind of drink can you make with a chicken? "Cocktail"!
- Why did the grapefruit Break Up with the orange? It just couldn't "squeeze" out a future together!
Fizzing with Puns: Drinking Paronomasia Puns
- I'm grapeful for wine, it's the raisin for my happiness!
- Why did the beer go to therapy? It had a Hop complex!
- My Vodka tried to make a joke, but it was just too distilled for my taste.
- What did the bartender say to the martini? "Olive you so much!"
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
- Don't trust atoms, they make up everything, just like cocktails!
- What did the bourbon say to the Glass? "I whiskey you were here!"
- Why did the lemon go to the bar? It wanted to find some zest in life!
- Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
- I asked the bartender for a Corona, but he said it's a Mexican beer, not a virus. Who knew?
Whiskey Business: Rhyming Puns
- I’m not a heavy drinker, I’m a light thinker.
- If you're feeling low, just grab a Merlot.
- When life gives you lemons, trade them for tequila.
- Don't be a slacker, enjoy a good Cracker with your liquor.
- Don't wine about it, just pour another glass.
- For a good Time, just add Lime to your gin and lime.
- Beer me strength to deal with these puns.
- Let's rum away from our problems, shall we?
- Whiskey makes me frisky, so they say.
- When in doubt, pout and pour it out.
Funny Spoonerism Puns on Drinking
- I'm a real wine whiner.
- Let's have a beer Ear!
- I'm a glad madder, I mean, a mad gladder when I'm tipsy.
- I'm a vodka soda, I mean, a soda vodaka.
- Let's take a Shot tot.
- I'm a gin lover, I mean, a lin gover.
- Let's sip some rum gips.
- I'm a tequila queen, I mean, a keela teueen.
- Let's have a cocktail fail.
- I'm a whiskey Fan, I mean, a fiskey whan.
Intoxicated Anagrams Puns
- Sip, stir, and become a "Martini"!
- Get "Tipsy" with a "Whiskey"!
- Enjoy a "Cosmo" and become "Smooc"
- Have a "Margarita" and turn into a "Airagramt"
- Take a shot of "Tequila" and become "Aqueilti"
- Get "Drunk" with a "Rum" and become "Nurmd"
- Indulge in "Vodka" and turn into a "Davok"
- Have a "Mimosa" and become "Aomism"
- Drink a "Beer" and become "Reeb"
- Enjoy a glass of "Champagne" and turn into "Ampagnech"
Thirsty for Puns
- I'm Friends with a group of bottles because they're always up for a drink and a good time. They're my chums.
- When the bartender asked if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, I said, "Doesn't matter, I'm already stirred by your charm."
- I told my friend that I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
- The beer said to the wine, "You're looking grape today." The wine replied, "You're not too shabby yourself."
- I don't trust people who avoid coffee. What are they Tea-ing to hide?
- My Doctor said I should watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a Mirror.
- I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer dos Equis.
- I asked the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave me two drinks.
- I'm not a wine connoisseur, but I can tell the difference between red and not red.
- My friend told me I need to stop singing "Wonderwall" at the bar. I said maybe.
