100+ High-larious Drug Puns to Get Your Laughter Dosed!

Are you ready to have a prescription for laughter? Look no further, because we've cooked up over 100 drug puns that will get you high on humor. From pill-popping puns to prescription jokes, this collection will have you rolling on the floor laughing. So put on your lab coat and get ready for some medicinal mirth that will cure your laughter cravings. Whether you're an aspiring pharmacist or just someone who appreciates a good pun, these jokes will definitely tickle your funny bone. So grab a dose of laughter and let these puns be the perfect remedy for a dull day. Get ready to overdose on laughter as we dive into the world of drug puns.

Pharmaceutical Fun: Best Drug Puns

Did you hear about the pharmaceutical company that makes antidepressants? They're always raising the Bar.
Why did the pharmacist get promoted? He was outstanding in his field!
My Friend accidentally swallowed some Food coloring. The Doctor says he's okay, but he feels like he's dyed a Little inside.
What do you call a fake Noodle? An impasta! Just like counterfeit medication.
Why did the doctor carry a Red Pen? In case they needed to draw blood.
Why did the Bicycle Fall over? IT was two-tired, just like someone after taking the wrong medication!
What do you get when you cross a Snowman and a Vampire? Frostbite, just like what happens when you take too much Cold Medicine.
Why did the Tomato turn red? Because it saw the Salad dressing, just like when someone sees someone taking their medication without Water.
Have you heard about that new Restaurant called Karma? There's no menu – you get what you deserve, just like with drug side effects!

Pharmaceutical Fun: Drug Puns Edition

“I need an aspirin,” said Tom with a Headache.
“I Can’t find my Allergy medication,” Tom sneezed.
“This cough syrup tastes funny,” said Tom hoarsely.
“I lost my medication at the Beach,” said Tom with a sigh.
“I accidentally swallowed some food coloring,” Tom said with concern. “The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.”
“I used to have a job at the Calendar factory,” Tom said monthly.
“I used to be a Baker, but I couldn’t make enough Dough,” Tom said with a Loaf of Bread.
“I used to be a tailor, but I couldn’t make ends meet,” Tom said with a thread and needle.
“I used to be a musician, but I wasn’t very sharp,” Tom said flatly.
“I used to be a banker, but I lost interest,” Tom said with a withdrawal slip.

Historical Puns

Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian who was addicted to mummies? He couldn't kick the sarcophagus habit!
When Alexander the Great was feeling down, he always turned to his "conquer-cocaine" for a pick-me-up.
Marie Antoinette's favorite drug? Let them eat hashish!
Why did the Mayans start using drugs? They just wanted to "unwind" their calendar predictions.
Henry VIII had a serious opium addiction. He just couldn't say no to some "tudor narcotics."
When the Roman emperor needed a little pick-me-up, he'd always say, "Venimus, vidimus, cocaine-us!"
Medieval alchemists were always trying to turn lead into Gold, but they were secretly working on a potion for eternal life – they called it "elixir of meth-ness."
The ancient Greeks had a saying, "When life gives you lemons, make LSD."
The Wright brothers May have invented the Airplane, but they also had a side hustle making "propeller-ler" pills.
The Vikings were known for their Love of fermented beverages, but they also had a thing for "berserker" pills.

Literal Puns: Drug Edition

I told the drug dealer I wanted to buy some marijuana, but he said, "Sorry, weeden it out of stock."
My friend tried to quit Smoking, but he just couldn't kick the habit.
When the pharmacist asked if I wanted a prescription, I replied, "No thanks, I'm just here for the pill-ow talk."
Why did the Coffee file a Police report? It got mugged.
My friend got addicted to Baking bread. He kneads it like a drug.
Why did the Grape go to rehab? Because it was raisin some concerns.
My doctor told me to take my medicine, but I replied, "I'm not sure if I can swallow that."
Why did the drug dealer become a pharmacist? He wanted to make a Legal high-stakes career.
My friend overdosed on Viagra. He's taking it hard.
Why did the drug addict become a Pastry Chef? He wanted to Roll in the dough.

Funny Drug Puns

I'm not addicted to drugs, I'm just chemically dependent on fun!
Why did the pharmacist become a comedian? Because he had a lot of prescription for laughter!
Did you hear about the drug addict who became a baker? He was always in the dough!
What did the stoner say when he couldn't find his weed? "I'm going to Pot!"
Why did the drug dealer go to School? He wanted to learn how to make some "high"-er Education!
Why did the doctor prescribe antidepressants to the Computer? Because it had a Bad case of the "down"loads!
What did the drug say to the doctor? "You're giving me a real "pill"-ow talk!"
Why did the marijuana Plant get promoted? Because it was really "pot"ent at its job!
Why did the Caffeine molecule go to Therapy? It had a latte of issues!
What did One drug say to the other at the Party? "We should definitely hang out more! We're a "high"-larious duo!"

Pharm to Table: Drug Puns

I told my doctor I broke my Arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
The Pharmacy had to close early because they ran out of cough syrup. It was a sickening experience.
I once had a job crushing cans. It was Soda pressing.
I'm trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it's really hard to find Good players. They're always on something.
I used to be addicted to Soap, but I'm Clean now.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a Hug.
I'm Reading a Book on anti-Gravity. It's impossible to put down.
My friend's Bakery burned down last night. Now his Business is Toast.
I used to play Piano by Ear, but now I use my hands.

High on Rhyming Drug Puns

You must be a pharmacist, because you’ve got all the prescriptions to my Heart’s ailments.
Are you a drug dealer? Because you've been giving me a serious dose of happiness.
Are you a chemist? Because you seem to have all the right elements to make me Smile.
Are you a drug? Because you’re giving me a serious high.
Are you a pharmacist? Because you’ve got the perfect remedy for a bad day.
Are you a drug dealer? Because you’ve got the perfect supply of joy and laughter.
Are you a chemist? Because you’ve got the formula for making me feel amazing.
Are you a drug? Because you’re the perfect prescription for a dull moment.
Are you a pharmacist? Because you’ve got the antidote to all my problems.
Are you a drug dealer? Because you’ve got the perfect dosage of humor.

Funny Spoonerism Puns about Drugs

Puff the Magic Dragon? More like drag the tragic Muffin!
Mary Jane? Nah, I prefer Jerry Maine!
Cocaine? No thanks, I'll Stick with coca Bean!
LSD? Let's Switch it up to DLS, the Deluxe Snack!
Ecstasy? How about ex-nasty!
Marijuana? Let's call it Juan-a-marry!
Heroin? Nope, I'd rather have a Hero win!
Crack cocaine? I'd rather have a Cake cracoin!
Mushrooms? Let's try some "shmushrooms"!
Methamphetamine? Nah, I'll take chef's amphetamine!

Funny Drug Anagram Puns

Acid - Cadi
Hash - Shah
Marijuana - Aria Man
Cocaine - Ice Con
Methamphetamine - The Methamine Ramp
LSD - DSL
Heroin - Hero In
Mushrooms - Mush Room
Ecstasy - Cyst Age
Opioids - Dip Sloop

Highly Addictive Drug Puns

I told the pharmacist I needed some drugs for a headache. He said, "I'm sorry, I can't help, but I can give you something for the Pain."
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a joke about potassium. I said K.
My friend was talking to me about how he couldn't Sleep, so I gave him some melatonin. He hasn't stopped talking since.
Did you hear about the Cheese that failed the drug test? It was a little too sharp.
When the doctor asked me if I was allergic to anything, I told him I was allergic to penicillin. He replied, "That's okay, we have it available in other colors."
My friend accidentally drank some invisible Ink. He's in the Hospital now, waiting to be seen.
I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a Couple of days off.
My friend thought he could make a Belt out of watches, but it was a waist of Time.