Are you ready to unleash the arsenal of laughter? Look no further because we've got over 100 military puns that will have you saluting with laughter. From tanks to soldiers, these puns will march right into your funny bone and leave you in stitches. So gear up and get ready for a comedic bombardment that will blow you away. Whether you're a history buff or just enjoy a good laugh, these puns will definitely enlist your sense of humor. So fall in, soldier, and prepare for a pun-tastic adventure that will leave you in stitches. Get ready to laugh your way through the ranks as we dive headfirst into the world of military puns.
Top 10 Hilarious Military Puns
- Why did the Scarecrow join the Army? Because he heard they had a lot of "field" experience!
- What did the Drill sergeant say to the disobedient recruit? "You're a soldier, not a "solder"!"
- Why did the soldier bring a Ladder to the battlefield? Because he wanted to "climb" the ranks!
- What do you call a soldier who survived Mustard Gas and Pepper spray? A seasoned "veteran"!
- Why did the Tank Break Up with the Helicopter? Because IT couldn't handle the "armor" issues!
- What do you call a military Chef? A "Grill" sergeant!
- Why did the soldier bring a Pencil and Paper to the battlefield? Because he wanted to "draw" Fire!
- What do you call a military Dog who Can do Magic tricks? A "labra-cadabra-dor"!
- Why did the soldier go to Art School? Because he wanted to "draw" his weapon!
- What do you call a group of Musical soldiers? A "Band" of brothers!
Tom Swifties Military Puns
- The soldier said he couldn't find his camouflage pants. "They must be hiding from me," he said.
- "I can't believe I got promoted to general," the soldier said with a salute. "I really Rose through the ranks!"
- "I'm joining the Navy," Tom said fleetingly.
- "I'm a tank driver," Tom said armoredly.
- "I'll never forget the day I got my military Haircut," Tom said trimly.
- "I lost my rifle in the Desert," the soldier said aimlessly.
- "I'm enlisting in the Air force," Tom said breathlessly.
- "I Love serving in the military," the soldier said patriotically.
- "I'm going to be a military chef," Tom said tastefully.
- "I just finished my training as a paratrooper," the soldier said jumpingly.
Historical Puns: Military Edition
- Why did the ancient Roman soldiers join the Circus? Because they wanted to March in "coliseum"!
- Why did the Medieval Knight bring a ladder to battle? Because he wanted to "siege" the day!
- What did the ancient Egyptian general say to his troops? "Let's pyramid our efforts and conquer!"
- Why did the Pirate join the army? Because he wanted to "Sea" some action!
- What did the Greek warrior say when he defeated his opponent? "I'm on a "Spartan" winning streak!"
- Why did the Viking warrior bring his Sword to the Bakery? Because he wanted to "Roll" with the Dough!
- What did the medieval archer say to his Arrow? "Fly straight and hit the "Bull's Eye" like a knight in shining armor!"
- Why did the ancient Chinese soldiers carry umbrellas in battle? Because they wanted to "shield" themselves from the Rain of arrows!
- What did the Revolutionary War drummer say to his bandmates? "Let's "Drum" up some support for independence!"
- Why did the caveman join the army? Because he wanted to "Rock" the battlefield!
Firing Up Some Puns!
- What do you call a military chef? A grill sergeant!
- Why did the scarecrow join the army? Because he wanted to serve in the field!
- Why did the military officer go to the bakery? Because he wanted to take a roll call!
- What did the soldier say to his sergeant when he lost his camouflage uniform? "I can't find my way Back, sir! I'm completely lost in my thoughts!"
- Why did the military Doctor join the army? Because he wanted to be on the front lines of Medicine!
- Why did the soldier carry a pencil and paper during battle? Because he wanted to draw his weapon!
- What type of Music do soldiers listen to? Marching bands!
- Why was the military base always so Clean? Because they had a strict regiment of sweeping!
- What did the soldier say to his Date? "I'm gunning for your Heart, Baby!"
Double the Fun: Military Puns
- I told my wife she should join the army, but she said she’s already a seasoned trooper at Home.
- The military chef quit because he couldn’t take the Heat in the Kitchen.
- The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
- I used to be a Baker in the army, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- I told my Friend to join the infantry, but he said he’d rather just Wing it.
- The military must be a Fan of music, because they have so many drum corps.
- I asked the soldier if he could help me find my missing camouflage jacket, but he couldn’t see it.
- The military must love Fashion, they have so many ranks and stripes.
- The general couldn’t figure out how to fix his Tent, but then it dawned on him.
- I joined the army because I wanted to learn how to be outstanding in my field.
Militarily Punny Puns
- Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the Bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the House!
- Did you hear about the claustrophobic French soldier? He refused to fight in the infantry!
- What do you call a marine Animal in the military? A sub-woofer!
- How does a military dog greet other dogs? By saying "General wags"!
- Why did the military chef get promoted? Because they knew how to "knead" the dough!
- What do you call a retired soldier who likes to Garden? A seasoned veteran!
- Why don't soldiers play hide and seek? Because Good men are hard to find!
- What's a soldier's favorite part of a joke? The punch line, of course!
- How do soldiers part ways? They say "I'll see you in the infantry"!
- Why did the soldier bring a pencil to the war? In case he needed to draw his weapon!
Militarily Silly Rhyming Puns
- Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the battlefield? Because he wanted to rise through the ranks!
- What do you call a group of military musicians? A combat band!
- Why was the Math Book sad? It had too many problems to solve, just like a military strategist!
- How does a military chef make eggs? In the "Bomb" poacher!
- Why don't military officers like to play hide and seek? Because good generals are hard to find!
- What did the sergeant say to the naughty cannon? You're grounded!
- Why did the military scientist bring a Glass of Water to the lab? He wanted to make a "military solution"!
- What did the drill sergeant say to the lazy recruit? Time to shape up or Ship out!
- Why do soldiers make good barbers? They know how to give a clean shave!
- What do you call a retired general? A major loss to the military!
Funny Spoonerism Puns: Military Edition
- "I accidentally joined the army instead of the navy. Now I'm saluting the wrong officer!"
- "Did you hear about the soldier who was really good at camouflage? He could hide in plain psych!"
- "I once saw a soldier who was an expert at throwing grenades. He was really good at launching boom-arangs!"
- "Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the battlefield? Because he wanted to elevate the troops!"
- "I asked the drill sergeant if he had any spare ammunition. He replied, 'No, but I have a ton of bulletins!'"
- "What do you call a military officer who can't find his uniform? A major malfunction!"
- "Why did the soldier bring a Pillow to the war? Because he wanted to take down the enemy with comfort and cushion!"
- "I once met a soldier who was really good at fixing tanks. He was a true armored mechanic!"
- "Why did the soldier become a comedian? Because he wanted to bring a Smile to the front lines!"
- "What do you call a soldier who can't find his weapon? A mis-fired missile!"
Militarily Silly Puns
- Rifle - Filer
- Grenade - Enraged
- Tank - Knat
- Combat - Tombac
- Army - Mary
- Officer - Officer
- Barracks - Brackers
- Paratrooper - Parrotrope
- Naval - Vandal
- Infantry - Infantry
Firing Up the Puns: Situational Military Puns
- Why did the scarecrow join the army? Because he wanted to be outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran!
- Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the battlefield? Because he wanted to reach new heights!
- Why did the soldier bring a pencil and paper to the war? So he could draw his weapon!
- Why did the military chef join the army? Because he couldn't resist the call of duty!
- What did the drill sergeant say to the Avocado? You better shape up or Guac out!
- Why did the soldier bring a Broom to battle? Because he wanted to sweep the enemy off their Feet!
- Why did the soldier Sleep with a flashlight? Because he wanted to shed some Light on the situation!
- What do you call a soldier who survived a mustard gas attack and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran!
- Why did the army recruit become a chef? Because he had a flare for Cooking!
