100+ Tearrific and Puntastic Crying Puns to Make You Laugh Your Eyes Out!

Crying Puns

Get ready to laugh until you're crying with our collection of 100+ crying puns that will have you weeping with joy! From tear-jerkingly funny to puns that'll make you sob with laughter, we've got it all. Whether you're feeling a little weepy or just in the mood for some pun-derful humor, these puns will have you in stitches. So grab a tissue and get ready to dive into the world of crying puns that will leave you laughing so hard, you might just shed a tear. It's time to embrace the pun-derful world of crying puns and let the laughter flow!

Crying Puns

  • Why did the kleenex Dance? Because IT had a Little boogie in it!
  • What do you call a fake Noodle? An impasta!
  • Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
  • What do you get when you cross a Snowman and a Vampire? Frostbite.
  • I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a Hug.
  • What did One Toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed!
  • What does a Cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
  • What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hey, bud!"
  • Why Can't you give Elsa a Balloon? Because she will let it go.
  • Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

Crying Puns - Swiftly Humorous Puns

  • “I dropped my Ice cream,” Tom cried softly.
  • “I can't find my Phone,” Tom sobbed dial-emma.
  • “I'm Terrible at Gardening,” Tom wept root-lessly.
  • “I lost my Pet Mouse,” Tom squeaked tearfully.
  • “I broke my Pencil,” Tom drawled sadly.
  • “I can't stop sneezing,” Tom sniffled uncontrollably.
  • “I missed my Flight,” Tom sighed Plane-fully.
  • “I can't open this jar,” Tom whined tightly.
  • “I can't remember the punchline,” Tom joked tearfully.
  • “I'm out of Coffee,” Tom moaned perk-less-ly.

Historical Puns

  • Why did Napoleon cry? Because he had a Bonapart!
  • What did Alexander the Great say when he couldn't stop crying? "I guess I'm just too great at tears!"
  • Why did Joan of Arc cry at the battle? She was feeling burnt out!
  • What did George Washington say when he couldn't hold Back his tears? "I cannot tell a lie, these tears are real!"
  • Why did Cleopatra cry when she saw the Sphinx? It was a real tear-jerker!
  • How did Julius Caesar express his emotions? By shedding Ro-man-tears!
  • Why did Christopher Columbus cry when he discovered America? He had a real "Sea" of emotions!
  • What did Abraham Lincoln say when he couldn't stop crying? "Four score and seven tears ago..."
  • Why did Marie Antoinette cry when she lost her Head? She felt like a real Basket case!
  • What did Leonardo da Vinci say when his Painting made him cry? "It's a real Work of 'Art'!"

Laugh Your Tears Away with These Crying Puns!

  • Why did the tissue go to Therapy? It had too many issues!
  • What do you call a crying Herb? A-Sage-tear!
  • Why did the Onion cry during the Movie? It was a real tear-jerker!
  • What do you get when you cross a Waterfall with a comedian? A "stand-up" Shower!
  • Why did the Ocean cry? Because it got caught in a "current" affair!
  • What did the tissue say to the crying Baby? "Blow me away!"
  • Why did the Tomato turn Red and cry? It saw the Salad dressing!
  • What did the tear say to the Eye? "I'm Falling for you!"
  • Why did the raindrop cry? Because it heard thunder "cracking" jokes!
  • Why did the comedian cry during their performance? They couldn't "stand" the silence!

Double Entendre Puns - Crying Puns

  • Why did the tissue go to therapy? It had emotional issues to blow.
  • Did you hear about the sad onion? It cried its eyes out, but it's still a-peeling.
  • Why did the tear refuse to go on a Date? It didn't want to get emotionally attached.
  • What did the Water say to the crying eye? "Don't be salty, just let it flow."
  • Why did the tear become a stand-up comedian? It wanted to make people laugh and cry at the same Time.
  • What do you call a baby who cries while playing hide-and-seek? A tear-rorist.
  • Why did the tissue take up Boxing? It wanted to be able to punch sadness away.
  • Why was the River sad? It couldn't find its way back to the sea and was feeling all washed up.
  • What did the crying Candle say to the Flame? "I'm just melting with emotions."
  • Why did the tear take a day off? It needed a tear-rible break.

Crying Puns

  • When the sad onion started shedding tears, it was a real tearjerker!
  • The comedian's jokes were so Bad, they made the audience cry... with laughter!
  • My Friend started a Business selling tissues for crying occasions; it's a real sob story.
  • Why did the kleenex Break Up with the tissue? It just couldn't handle the emotional baggage.
  • What do you call a crying Computer? A Dell with emotions.
  • I told my wife she was Drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised and then started crying.
  • Why did the Lemon start weeping? It realized its zest for life was fading away.
  • The broken pencil started crying because it felt pointless.
  • Why did the Calendar start crying? Its days were numbered.
  • When the tomato couldn't stop crying, it turned into a real saucy mess.

Crying Puns

  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • What did the big flower say to the little flower? "What's up, bud?"
  • Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
  • What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the Closet? "Supplies!"
  • Why did the Bicycle Fall over? Because it was two-tired!
  • What do you call a Bear with no Teeth? A Gummy Bear!
  • Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
  • Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up!
  • Why did the Scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  • Why did the coffee file a Police report? It got mugged!

Funny Spoonerism Puns About Crying

  • Why did the tear cry? Because it was a weepy story!
  • What did the sobbing onion say? "I'm peeling sad!"
  • Why did the raindrop feel down? It was feeling droopy!
  • What did the teardrop Study? Cry-ence!
  • Why did the tissue need therapy? It had emotional issues!
  • Why did the tear become an Artist? It wanted to Paint a sad Picture!
  • What do you call a crying Bull? A tear-ible snorter!
  • Why did the tear go to the Gym? It wanted to work on its cry-ceps!
  • What did the emotional cloud say? "I'm feeling misty-eyed!"
  • Why did the tear join a Band? It wanted to be a sob-Rock Star!

Crying Puns - Anagram Puns

  • Yearn Cig
  • Rangy Icy
  • Nice Gray
  • Cine Gary
  • Icy Range
  • Grainy Ce
  • Acne Rigy
  • Racy Gien
  • Car Yinge
  • Rice Yang

Funny Situational Puns

  • Why did the tissue go to therapy? It had too many issues to blow.
  • Did you hear about the onion that made everyone cry? It was a real tear-jerker!
  • Why did the river start crying? Because it couldn't find its way back to the sea.
  • What do you call a crying Vegetable? A sob-cumber!
  • Why did the Clock start weeping? It had too many seconds to tick off.
  • What did the sad Tennis Ball say? "I'm feeling deflated."
  • Why did the painting start sobbing? It felt framed for a Crime it didn't commit.
  • Why did the sad Book cry? It had too many tear-jerk chapters.
  • What did the depressed cloud say? "I'm feeling Rain-diculously low."
  • Why did the sad Math book cry? It had too many problems to solve.